Tuesday, April 26, 2005

What do you think....

A girl that I work with...lets call her Jane, revealed that she has in fact pawned the title to her car in order to get money to pay rent for the month of April...yes folks this is April 26th, making her rent 26 days late. Pawning her title to her car means that she handed over the title to her car to a pawn shop, and in turn they gave her cash. She has 2 weeks to pay them back with an interest rate of 20% or her car will be theirs. How fuckin dumb is this girl? It gets better...I promise. Jane, her husband, and their roomate are addicts...they have a great relationship with crystal meth and cocaine. You could say they are a drug dealer's best friend. They waste all of their money on drugs, rather than food, shelter and monthly bills. Their rent total is $700 a month, divided by three. You do the math...about $233.33 per person/per month. My rent is 1000 a month and I only live with one other person...$500 a month each, and we pay our's every month, ON TIME. I also have a car payment and many other bills. The difference between us is that I DO NOT DO DRUGS.
I have comprised a list below of reason why she is such a dumbass and why I have no respect for her low life kind....
1. It's April 26th...May's rent is due in 5 days. ( that means she has to pay May's rent and the pawn shop back)
2. She does drugs
3. She has made her eyes bulge out of her head due to an excessive amount of drugs and lack of sleep
4. She gave up her saturday night shift to go out (the night we make most money)
5. She loves drugs
6. She got $1700 back in tax refunds and blew it in a week (hello, 2 months rent, not one night's drugs)
7. She takes drugs
8. She lives with her husband and another roomate? Find that odd???????
9. She is on drugs
10.She has a degree in criminal justice....(how ironic)
11.Her husband threw up on himself at the bar at TWIST while she was working
12.They have 12 cats in an apartment (I wonder if they do drugs too)

Leave me your opinions on this...........

AX...Desk...and a Brotha

First...I still have yet to get the cord for the digital camera to hook it up to the computer, so the beach pics and stories are going to have to wait....sorry ya'll. But I have some new stories to fill in the space....

Sunday: As usual I awoke and headed to church. This time by myself...at the Buckhead branch. I guess arriving 15 mins before the service starts is a mistake, you need to come earlier... it's either fight people for seats in middle, or take a seat in the second row next a lone lamb of god...I decided not fight and took the seat with the lamb of god.
After church me and KE met up for our weekly eat, get drunk, and shop...except this time we shopped before getting tanked. Actually, we RAPED Armani Exchange so that we can look even better than we already do. With 20% off guest coupons in hand we got discounts that do not happen too often in AX. We will be sure to take pictures in our new gear, to make all your mouths water and jealous you don't have an AX in Pa.

Monday: Nothing really to exciting...got up at 9 to help my friend Ryan move into his new studio.....yeah that was tiring. I also got a new computer desk...and it kicks ass. Glass and metal..sleek and modern!

Tuesday: Here is where the brotha (yes I did say this and I don't give a f**k who I offend)comes into play.....On my way to work, I decided to stop in McDonalds for a quick bite to eat. I pull up to the drive thru and stop behind a piece of shit white car. As I am reaching for a different CD, I notice back up lights lighting up right before my very eyes and the piece of shit white car hurling back towards the red rocket...SMASH....the f**ker hits the red rocket. AW HELL NO...did he just hit my car? (my Starkysha reaction for some humor although this is no laughing matter) Pissed as all hell, I get out of the red rocket to inspect the damage. The driver of the piece of shit white car hangs out his window throw his arms up and yells....

Brotha (i'm sure you can figure out why I am calling him this): "What's the problem?"

Me (enraged): "You hit my f**kin car is the problem!"

Brotha (with his gold tooth, while his homegirl is throwin up her arms and trippin): "There ain't no need for you to get attitude"

Me: "The attitude comes from the fact that you HIT my car"

Brotha: "There ain't nothin wrong with your car" (probably as he reached for his gun to blow my head off)

Me: "Give me your insurance information"

Brotha: "Why?" (obviously being uneducated and probably having no insurance on his piece of shit he doesn't know the proper procedure for this kind of incident"

Me: "Well I am not paying for the damage that you did...so I guess I'll just take your license plate number and call the cops"

Brotha: "Do what the fuck you want, they can't touch me" (he then procedes to drive away...as his muffler hangs to the ground and spits out black smoke)

Flicking the asshole uneducated idiot off, I write down his license plate number and call the ATL P.D. F**k him and the piece of shit he backed up in....hit and run...ever hear of that? So after about 10 mins the officer arrives and takes down some information and gives me a number that I can call to see what progress is made in my claim. (don't worry, I will be checking up on this one every day) They don't call it a drive thru for nothing...if this f**ktard could read he would have known not to back up and hit other customers. (the glare off his gold tooth on his rear view mirror must have made him unable to see me behind him)
We will find out tommarrow what kind of damage is done when I take the red rocket to the dealership for a check up. I hope the brotha and his homegirl like buses...cause their asses are going to be riding one....No more drive thrus for them!

Friday, April 22, 2005

Back...

Well I am back from the Isle of Palms....it was a much needed vacation. I'll have pictures and stories posted as soon as I get a chance...talk to ya'll later...

Monday, April 18, 2005

Isle of Palms

Well, it's Monday and I am currently packing for the beach. I will be gone till Thursday, and I will be sure to make a post when I get back.

I am going to the Isle of Palms...a semi-private island off the coast of Charleston, South Carolina. We have a 5th floor penthouse in a private resort community.....Jealous?

...and folks, I shaved my head today...I'll be sure to post a pic of that.

See ya'll when I get back

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Dear State Of Georgia,

As a law abiding citizen, I have filed my taxes for 2004, and I am a bit pissed off.

I owe $521 to you for my state taxes. that's $521 on top of the money that you have already collected from me throughout the year.

You might as well just take my soul for your own and call it a day. So where does all my money go I ask? I think I have a pretty good idea just from being alive for 23 years. Unemployed scumbags? You take money from your hardworking citizens so you can spend frivolously to feed and clothe the jobless and their circus of children. If the low lives of society would get off their lazy Jerry Springer watching asses and get jobs, my taxes would could probably be lower. As a concerned citizen, I have come up with a few ways that your system could work more effectively.

Since you send these losers free money every month, they should have to work for it like the rest of society. On the first of the month, each sorry loser must have done all of the following (to be listed below) and arrive in person to be checked out at the state welfare office...sort of like you would at a grocery store.

Idea #1 - Bring 30 trash bags of garbage you collected from along the highway (one for every day of the month). Picking up trash along the highway is part-time job #1.

Idea # 2 - Give proof of their children's grades. These scumbags, although they may not be qualified will help their children to learn so they can grow up to be good, educated citizens with jobs. Tutor would be part-time job # 2.

Idea # 3 - Show a proof of their form of birth control (excluding condoms and the pill, sterilization is the only form accepted).

Idea # 4 - As their form of tax payment, they must give the state of Georgia a few shreds of the dignity. Taking their dignity as form of payment may pressure the unemployed to look for a job and quit sitting around all day watching tv in their FREE homes.

I would greatly appreciate it if you would consider putting these ideas into effect. Maybe by 2005, you will be able to lower taxes and I won't owe your fine state so much money.

Yours truly,
thedirtysouth

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

In the news.......

Story #1...right out of Tennessee.........

STORY (click before proceeding)

Now after reading that, do you wonder what kind of dumbass that woman was? First off, anyone who is cheating on their spouse should not be so stupid as to let the person live in their closet. Second, how do you live in someone's closet? I don't even have enough room in there for all of my clothes, let alone a person. Third...if I was that husband, I think I would have kicked the bitch and her lover out of the house...I'd be damned if I was going anywhere for a walk. And lastly, what the hell kind of name is Rafeal DeJesus Rocha-Perez? I'm sure he is probably an illegal immigrant

Speaking of white trash.....

STORY (click before proceeding)

Picture this.....A trailer deep in the Louisiana bayou with a silver BMW parked outside....
enough said, I think we all know that is where this crazy b*tch is headed. I wonder is she is related to the woman in the first story

Monday, April 11, 2005

Screw the I-75 construction........

Avoid Collier Road at all cost....you ask why? I am going to tell you.

Friday night...after working 14 hours with only an hour break, I hopped my ass into the red rocket that was ever so shiny and red sitting in P2, the parking deck known as the Court of the South.

I headed over to Dantanna's where I enjoyed a beer that would hold me over for the 10 minute stressful ride back to my apartment. As usual, I merged onto Georgia 400 South for about 2 miles and hit the I-85 south bottleneck, where as usual the incapable drivers in Georgia who cannot merge almost killed me for the 11000000 millionth (i think i made this a word) time. After a dangerous 3 miles on 85 south, I looped around the Brookwood Interchange onto I-75 north so I could hit the Howell Mill exit as I do everyday. I took the right off the exit and then the left at the Blockbuster onto Collier Road...almost home. As I came down the hill past the Post Apartments, I saw the sign for road construction on the overpass for I-75. This is where the shit starts............

As I headed under the bridge I noticed the Niagra Falls of the South pouring off of the bridge, with the window down and a cigarette in my hand I sped through. White water...water consisting of concrete dust and road particles paint the red rocket white. She was now the white lightning. Oh and yes...Niagra Falls of the South also made it inside the car since I neglected to put up the window. Damned smokers! Are you fu*king kidding me? This shit wasn't just a splattering, it was a full on coating. It looked like the red rocket was raped by a flock of seagulls and pigeons. Tired and pissed I crawled up the steps of my apartment, showered and headed off to bed.

The next day I awoke completely forgetting the red rocket had a sex change without my permission. I had me some lunch, watched some TV, and then it struck me...my car was white. I cursed every cheap labored mexican that had been working on that bridge and the Georgia Department of Roads. The sign should have read "Niagra Falls of the South ahead, to avoid your car being raped by white stuff...turn around and use an alternate route," but instead it read "Construction ahead, slow down." I knew I had to be at work at three, so I had to hurry the hell up and get ready for worrk so I could get the red rocket another sex reassignment from white back to red. Off I went, change in hand to the car wash....AND CLOSED...yes the damn carwash was closed while they filled the soap tanks. Embarassed of the drive under raping my car got, I drove like a bat out of hell to the Peachtree Road BP Automatic Carwash to use their facilities. Nikki can vouch for this...I was on the phone with her all the while on this fiasco. In I drove...out she came...RED once again....or so I thought. I did infact use an alternate route comming back home Saturday night, but Sunday I got it again.

On my way to church, still half asleep, I went back under the over pass...but this time it was just a trickle...the waterfall had called it a day and was on break, but would be up and running again later.....

After spending all night out at the Dogwood Festival (which looked like Freak Nik) and then out to a few bars, my semi tipsy ass drove under that damned bridge again....and guess what....break was over....let there be another raping of the red rocket....she is white again and I don't care. I will not wash her again till the construction is finished....let the clouds from the sky open and pour down some acid rain, cause that is all the cleaning the red rocket will be receiving for a while! Actually till Sunday, cause she will get a bath before we leave for the beach...Isle of Palms in South Carolina, where there won't be any bridge work.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Your name might be StarKysha if.....

You ask if you can sub a salad for the dipping sauce that comes with your shrimp....

You add "S" to the end of everything....
Example:
California Rolls
Churries (cherries in StarKysha talk)
Krogers

You wear pants that are way too tight and show all the rolls on your apple bottom....

You say "What had happened was"....

You save your money all week just to buy a Grey Goose Appple Martini with come churries in it at Twist on a Friday night....

Your friend's are name Escladee and StarShante....

You start all of your sentences with "Um yes"....

Your car is worth more than your house....

You think calamari is an exotic food....

You won't eat pork, but you'll eat imatatin crab meat (if you knew how it was made you probably wouldn't)....

You can't walk in heels, but they look good so you wear them anyways....

You have no morals....

You can drop it like it is hot and then pick it up....

You weigh three bills and some change....

Your baby's daddy's name is Orangjello....

You go to Phipps Plaza shopping, but don't buy anything cause you can't afford it....

You don't tip....

You spend all night waiting for someone to buy you a drink, but they never do cause no one wants a BBH (Big Booty Hoe)....

Your day job is CVS (KE gets this one)....

You drink your martini with a coffee straw....

You send food back because you didn't realize it was so big and it is "going to fill you up" (isn't that the reason we eat)....

You have a fake Gucci bag....

You throw up the West Coast finger sign when listening to an East Coast rapper....

You order the cheapest thing on the menu, whether you like it or not....

You ask for free bread when you order a drink (because you don't want to have to pay for food)....


The next time you go out....watch your friends and see if they do any of these things....you may find out their REAL name is StarKysha

Friday, April 08, 2005

Top 10

Top 10 Reasons I Hate Driving In Atlanta

10. Soccer Mom's - This crazy breed of Buckhead Betty's think that they are the only cars on the road....usually they sport an SUV or a Mini Van and have an ugly kid making faces at you in the back. Buckle the bastards up and stay out of way.

9. Illegal Mexicans - I have a personal problem with them...Who gives them driver's license? They speed about in their piece of shit cars, without any remorse for other motorists. Most of the time they will have atleast 14 people packed in a Geo Metro. I guess brake lights to them mean to go faster...trust me they aren't afraid to hit your car.

8. Hoopties - Seeing how Georgia does not have yearly inspections on cars, citizens can drive just about anything that moves. There is nothing worse than being stuck behind a car that spits black smoke out of it's exhaust and loses parts as it putts around. These are also usually the cause of traffic jams...they break down in the middle of the highway and back up traffic for hours. Thanks guys...I like to spend my time out of work trying to get around you.

7. Highway Patrol - Yeah, these assholes come in every type. They sit along the super freeways just waiting for their victims. Have you ever been pulled over by an officer standing next to a motorcycle along the highway....well I have. Now Progressive Auto Insurance has the right to rape me on car insurance every month...$230.00...I guess 5 speeding tickets will do the trick.

6. Rain - When it rains people just can not drive. A sprinkle will result in accidents all over the metro area. What would these dumbasses do if they got snow? Riding the brakes is the norm in cloudy conditions, for fear of a tiny raindrop dropping from the sky.

5. Marta Buses - These things just suck. Who came up with public transportation, get a car or stay home. They don't use signals and stop when they feel like it. On top of that, it's also an easy way for the trash to make their way from the slums into the nice parts of the city.

4. Rednecks - From outside the perimeter, Alabama, and Tennessee. Cruising in their 4 wheel drive camo painted trucks, sporting NRA stickers and confederate flags, they throw their mullets out the window and harass the city folk. I was once called a "N*gg*r" by one of them in a Bronco....Newsflash dumbass...I'm white!!!!

3. Transfer Trucks - Also known as Semi's...Kings of the highway. Here's a hint...when there is only room for a Civic between two cars...your big rig is not going to fit...learn how to switch lanes and then we will talk!

2. Chinese Woman - Honestly...THE WORSE OF THEM ALL...In their rice burners the zoom about with no reguard for traffic devives or human life. Use your damn mirrors or stay off of the road....when a light is red, STOP! Half the time these bitches can't even see over the dashboard...problem number one. Let's take their license and call it a day.

1. Traffic - I guess the punishment for living in the city and having a job...everyday at 4:30, your 10 minute commute home turns into 2 hours. You would think having a highway that is 8 lanes in one direction would solve this problem, but it doesn't...it makes it worse. "Back roads" turn into parking lots and there is no way to avoid it. God Bless CD players and cell phones, the only way to ease the boredom.